Now List

Or, Thanks, Jason.

Jason Boyett is one of my very favorite bloggers. Mostly, because if you comment on his blog, he sends you an email, and it’s very pleasant, and if you email him back, he responds, and I commented, and he emailed, and I responded, and he responded, and it was awesome, and that alone was enough to keep me reading his blog, and also he’s funny and insightful, and holy run-on sentence, Batman! Anyway, he just blogged a “now list,” then told everyone else to do it too. He must know that I love doing stuff like this, and also am having a hard time formulating an actual paragraph-centric post. Or maybe he just wanted to. Either way, I’m copying him. Actually, I’m compiling another of his like lists with the one he just posted. Okay, then.

What I was listening to when I began this post:
“32 Flavors,” Ani DiFranco

What I am drinking right now:
Diet Coke. I don’t actually like Diet Coke, but I’m at work my choices were either that or Diet Sprite, and given those choices, I dislike Diet Coke less. I could have also had water, but if you know me, you know that’s not happening. Or coffee, but I already had a cup, and too much coffee makes me barfy. Sorry if that was too much information. Caffeine makes me over-share.

What I have just finished doing:
Getting the kids to stop fighting over their stuffed seal. Watching a few minutes of Gilmore Girls. Covering up the three year old with approximately 57 blankets. She’s currently laying next to me in a pile of blankets and stuffed animals. Now she is naming them. Her chihuahua is named Mr. Taco, btw.

What I will do immediately after posting this:
Check in on Gilmore Girls, make the kids a snack.

What books I am reading now:
Odd Girl Out, by Rachel Simmons. Really good.

Last email/text I received:
Email: from my mom, telling me that she was sorry for ridiculing my penchant for giving money/food/etc. to homeless people. Particularly my bff homeless guy in Canton. I bought him groceries yesterday. Apparently, her notions were corrected by Joyce Meyer. Text: something from twitter, I’m sure. Non-Twitter Text: from Jess, the girl I work for. It says “Thanks. Eric has to go to LaGrange again.

Last email/text I sent:
Email: To my mom. It said, “Thanks.” Text: To Jess. It said, “Okay. No Problem.”

Last article I read:
I read some article Ace linked to on FB. It was about the fallacy of global warming. It made me stabby. But, I didn’t say anything.

What I did last night:
Went to a full run-through of the show I’m in in two weeks. Went home. Watched the Superbowl.

What I’m doing tonight:
Rehearsal. If I get off work in enough time, I may go to H2o Aerobics first.

Favorite Super Bowl commercial from last night:
The Google one. It was all kinds of adorable.

Least favorite Super Bowl commercial from last night:
Um. The ones with no pants were all kinds of awkward.

What I just looked at right now:
Looked at the kids to make sure they weren’t punching each other or something.

What I was listening to when I finished this post:
“Vertigo (Live From Milan),” U2. Actually, the song just changed. Now, it’s “While You Were Sleeping,” Casting Crowns.

Likes/Dislikes

Or, I’m in a great mood. This will be like-heavy.

Likes:

• imdb.com.
• Water Aerobics.
• Cetaphil.
• TV shows: NCIS, NCIS:LA, Psych, Burn Notice, White Collar, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Gilmore Girls, The Colbert Report.
• Quaker Granola Bites.
• Cheddar Sun Chips.
• Cherry Coke.
• LL Cool J.
• Nathan Fillion.
• Neil Patrick Harris.
• Magazines.
• Planning my hypothetical wedding.
• kleinfeldbridal.com.
• Surveys.
• Hydrocortizone Cream.
• Extremely Hot Showers.
• Mott’s Natural Pressed Apple Juice.
• Celestial Seasonings India Spice Chai Tea.
• Making long Lists of Random things.
• HAMMOCKS!
• Swinging the Kids I nanny in my hammock.
• My Job.
• My iPhone.
• TFLN.
• Stacks of Blank CD’s.
• Lilith Fair, and the fact that I’m going this summer!
• The fact that Jennifer Knapp and Derek Webb are touring together this summer!
• Having a credit in my iTunes account.
• My Storage Unit.
• Pastels. Oil or Chalk.
• Colloquialisms.
• Aussie flexible hold hairspray.

Dislikes:

• The fact that my browser crashed in the middle of writing this, and I had to re-write part of it.
• Eczema.
• Allergies.
• Itchiness.
• Sinus Infections.

Hiatus… Over!

Or, “Where are we?/What the hell/Is going on?”

So, if you are a regular checker of my blog, it may have become apparent that I haven’t updated in about two months. That is crazy, considering two years ago at this time, I was updating every day, and last year at this time, I was updating a few times a week.

I guess you could say that I haven’t had much to say. But, that wouldn’t be entirely true. I’ve had a lot to say, but not much that I’ve actively wanted to talk about. I’ve had a rough couple of months, and that makes me tend to want to withdraw from any community, even that which occurs online.

I feel like coming back to my blog means that I have to detail where I’ve been for the past two months, and what has happened. Thus, thinking about how I can possibly encompass that in one post has caused me to take up a couple of extra weeks or so in delaying my return to writing here. Fortunately, this blog is not solely for the purpose of telling people about the minutiae of my day-to-day life. So, I may at some point discuss where I’ve been during this hiatus, but I don’t feel like a summation of my absence is really necessary.

So, I’ll be updating more regularly in the coming weeks. I’m ready to get back to talking about my thoughts, hopes, prayers, and complaining about the sinus infection I’ve had for the past 6 years. (Because “I have a sinus infection.” Has to be in like 1 out of 3 posts.)

Yay!

Empathy

Or, Perhaps this is a weird topic for my triumphant return to blogging? Idk.

I think that I have an unusually strong sense of empathy. I’m not sure if this contributes to, or detracts from my sense of objectivity, but I can usually understand people’s reasoning (or lack thereof), particularly when experiencing painful situations. I think it’s why I’m a big fan of giving hugs.

When I was in the 9^th grade or so, I read The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd. I’ve forgotten most of what I read now, but a couple of things are still etched into my memory. One is the pseudo-Catholicism of the main characters, and their penchant for pouring honey onto a statue of the Virgin Mary, and the other is the fact that one of the ladies was constantly consumed with the pain of others. That idea deeply resonated with me, even then.

I was listening to Pearl Jam’s “Yellow Ledbetter” earlier tonight, and it made me legitimately writhe with pain. I felt what Eddie Vedder was feeling when he wrote and sang those lyrics. I understood.

Usually, when “empathy” is used, as opposed to “sympathy,” it refers to someone who garners understanding from having been in the same (or a strikingly similar) situation, and as such, can fully understand the depth and breadth of what that other person is feeling. Even though I choose not to do a lot of (painful) things (or I have just been able to avoid them for some reason), I understand why people do them. I can see the channels of emotion that lead to those choices. I understand why people get divorced. I understand why people self-harm. I understand why people have premarital sex. I understand why my teenagers do stupid things. I understand why girls choose to have abortions. I understand why people are afraid. I may not be party to all those things, but I understand them nonetheless.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief].” –Romans 12:15 (Amplified)

Stuff

Or, Things and Whatever.

I haven’t been around ye olde blogge a lot. Mostly, I’ve been devoting my time to my photography. And sleeping as much as possible. (On Daylight Savings Time Day, I slept 13 hours.) I think I have a sinus infection.

Now, I’m (somewhat hesitantly) participating in NaNoWriMo. Because, without being in school, I need a strong impetus to write. Novels aren’t necessarily my thing, but it’s nice to try new things, I guess. But, ultimately, it may mean that I’m blogging even less.

However, here are some things I have desired to write about since my last blog, but haven’t gotten around to:

Fall, Holding Hands, Nannying, Waking Up Early, Expectation, Trying, Tiredness, Acute Sinusitis, Love, Frustration, Ambiguity, Emotions, LaGrange, Nostalgia, Friendship, Loneliness, Missing People, C0-Dependence, Books, The Family I Work For, etc.

Okay, I officially declare this post random and obnoxious.

Compassionate

Or, Should have never have left you broken.

Today, I decided to sponsor a Compassion child. Until I started my new job, I wasn’t really in a financial position to be able to consistenly support a child, but now, I feel like it will be possible. I think that God has been leading me to do this for a couple of months, and now that I’m working more than just a few hours a week, I can commit to paying that $38 every month. I decided to sponsor a girl who was 11, in the age range of the youth that I work with. Her name is Angie and she lives in Colombia.

I am so excited for the opportunity that God will provide Angie, and for the compassion that I get to learn. And I am looking forward to praying for Angie and her journey.

Say When

Or, Favorite.

This is probably my favorite song right now. It’s so intense. I’ve taken to driving around screaming it. I just wanted to share it. (Although, I think the phrase “I want to share this with you” is really cheesy, so sorry.)

Say When – The Fray

I see you there,
Don’t know where you come from,
Unaware but you’re still from someone,
Don’t appear to care that I saw you and I want you,
What’s your name? Cause I have to know it,
You let me in and begin to show it,
I’m terrified cause you’re headed straight for it,
Might get it,

Hear the song playing on background,
All alone but you’re turning up now,
And everyone is rising to meet you, to greet you,
Turn around and you’re walking toward me,
I’m breaking down and you’re breathing slowly,
Say the word and I will be your man, your man
Say when

And my own two hands will comfort you tonight, tonight,
Say when,
And my own two arms will carry you tonight, tonight,

Come close and then even closer,
We bring it in but we go no further,
We’re separate two ghosts in one mirror, no nearer,
Later on if it turns to chaos,
Hurricane coming all around us,
See the crack, pull it back from the window,
You stay low,
Say when,

And my own two hands will comfort you tonight, tonight,
Say when,
And my own two arms will carry you tonight, tonight,

Come across you’re lost and broken,
You’re coming to, but you’re slow and waking,
You start to shake, you still haven’t spoken, what happened?
They’re comin back and you just don’t know it,
And you want to cry but there’s nothing coming,
They’re gonna push until you give in,
Say when,

Now we’re here and it turns to chaos,
Hurricane coming all around us
They’re gonna crack, don’t you back from the window
You stay low
All began with the man and country,
Every plan turns another century,
around again,
And another nation fallen,

Maybe god can be on both sides,
Of the gun,
Never understood why,
Some of us never get it so good, so good
Some of this was here before us
All the rest will come after us
It never stops until we give in, give in

Say when,
And my own two hands will comfort you tonight, tonight,
Say when,
And my own two arms will carry you tonight, tonight,
Say when,

And my own two hands will comfort you tonight, tonight.

Calling Couples!

Or, My love, she leans into me.

I need (cute) couples.

I’m building up my photography portfolio, so it is a little more commercially viable. I have a ton of portraiture, but I need 2-3 couples to take some really good photos. Like engagement-portrait style images. I can some to you. I want to take some good photos of you in a place that you feel comfortable.

If you agree to model for me, you’ll get a digital copy of my edited images to use in whatever way you want, and a 5×7 print of my personal favorite image from the shoot.  In exchange, you’ll agree to let me use your likeness in any of my digital or print portfolios, and any promotional materials for MaeFlower Photography.

If you are interested at all, shoot me a message on Facebook, leave a comment, or send me an email at amandamaea[at]gmail[dot]com.

Nannying

Or, Early and often.

Tomorrow I start my new nannying job. I’m only going to be working 2-3 days a week, which will be ideal once I go back to school in January.

I’m pretty excited about this job to be honest. The family I’m working for has three kids who are 4, 2.5 and 16 months. Thay are adorable and affectionate and funny, and I’m excited to get to take care of them.

I’m also excited because I feel like I mesh well with the family. I think we have similar sets of ideals, and the kids don’t have a ton of discipline, but they’re also sweet and respectful. And the family is excited to have me. And they are making concessions to make sure that I can stay with their kids, like buying another car, so that I can drive their minivan.

Also, they’re very welcoming, for example, Jess, the mom, asked me if she could keep anything around for me to eat or drink during the day, which I think is incredibly thoughtful. And they made me a chart to help remember the specific needs of each child, which is incredibly helpful, because with three kids, it’s hard to remember which ones like which things, particularly in the beginning of a job like this.

So, needless to say, I’m super excited.

The one downfall is that, until they get another car, I have to be there at 6:15, so Jess can carpool with her husband, and get to her nursing job by 7. I can’t even remember the last time I was up this early. I’m guessing during camp.

I pretty much need to go to bed right now. Too bad I’ll be watching SYTYCD and Glee. Then I’m definitely going to bed.

I’m Defriending You

Or, Making some cuts.

I’m friends with a whole lot of people on facebook that I am not actually friends with in real life. I mean, I might see them in passing occasionally, but we don’t actually talk. Thus, I feel like I have  a lot of non-legit facebook friendships. Some of my real life friends, I communicate with almost solely through facebook, and I feel like that’s okay. We do at least communicate. It’s not okay, however to be friends with random people, who I can’t even remember. Those people are clogging up my news feed.  So, I’m trimming down my friends list. But worry down, if you’re reading this, you probably made the cut.

UPDATE: The first round of cuts is over. 121 people were eliminated from my facebook life. I feel much better.