Summer

Or, So I’ll Be Sure to Stay Wary of You Love, To Save the Pain of Once my Flame and Twice My Burn.

So, I have a lot of goals this summer. I wanted to post them on the first day of Camp, but as should probably have been expected of the first day of camp, I had approximately 189,374,273,927 things to do.

Anyway, I have been burned by a lot more than the sun in my previous summers, and in fact, have mostly wanted to punch them in the face. Hard. Last Year, for example, included moving back home from LaGrange,  my grandfathers death, wanting to punch everone in my immediate viscinity, and particularly the senior leader I lived with for four weeks, spending a lot of time wandering around Gainesville alone, rupturing both my eardrums, singing in a wedding, and breaking my foot. I don’t recommend it. This summer, however, I am making a concerted effort to see things change.

Here are some of my goals:

• Read 1-2 books per week, for the 12-ish weeks of summer. Right now, I’m at 11 books, so I’m doing pretty well toward that goal. The specific reasoning behind this was so that I could offer myself a specific time to escape, and also to come out the other side of the summer with a little more knowledge and a honed desire to write.
• Write 3-5 letters per week. I have not done this. But, I reaaaallllyyy want to write to people. I just need people to write to. So, email me your address to amandamaea (at) gmail (dot) com,  and I will have a reason to have to write letters. I made this because it’s important for me to keep up important relationships, and at the end of the summer I will have shared a lot of myself with other people, and kept strong connections.
• Listen to good music. Always important for a good summertime experience. I’ll post part one of my summer playlist tomorrow or the next day. It’s mostly music that makes me feel happy or good in a summery way, or is related to good experiences for me.
• Have a good attitude. Even when I am feeling punchy, make a concerted effort to be patient and positive. Encourage the girls I supervise and my campers to make it a better experience than what I have had.
• Enjoy the environment I’m living in. I get to be outside all the time. And right now, for example, there is a deer enjoying a grassy snack right outside the window. That happens all the time. Cool, right?
• Figure my life out. I have felt some very strong God-feelings that this summer there will be a clear direction presented for me. So, I am waiting, and trying to be patient to see what that is. I want to not make any real decisions until I hear what my next step should be.
• Get a tan. Hello, Vanity. But really, I am outside all the time, so, I want to actually look like I come out of the shade occasionally.
• Make good friends. Last summer, I didn’t make any real, good friends whose numbers I have in my phone, and who I would call or even facebook now. I am working with some good old friends, and I definitely forsee having some more good friends at the end of the summer.
• Go to church or to Mass. I may be Methodist, but I sure do love Catholicism. Mass is a beautiful, intensely spiritual experience for me. So, I want to go more often. Also, I want to go to regular church, too. I want to worship God, and be filled, whereas last summer, I was kind of taking a hiatus from church, this summer, I am hungry to be near God.

So, that’s pretty much all the ones I can think of right now. But, I do want to accomplish things this summer, and I want to have a Joyful experience. I want to know God, and to know myself. I want to give love and be loved. I want to be happy. I’m going to make it happen.

~ by Amanda Mae on 15 June 2009.